Just want to share a powerful interaction I had tonight with a new friend. Chloee reached out to me through an online forum I joined. She shared that she’s a bulimic struggling with purging twice a day (down from about 4-6/day). I was touched by her courage to reach out to someone she didn’t know to say hello and share her bulimia struggles.
There is so much possible for us in our lives.
In one of my emails I wrote, “You’re taking the right steps towards making your dreams your reality. I have done it, and so can you.” Chloee shared “I just want you to know, that’s all I’ve ever wanted to hear from someone. I will make my dreams a reality. ” I believe she will.
The power of hope and inspiration can’t be underestimated. What we hope for is so close to what we believe which is close to what we know. The gap between fear or doubt and knowing is great. The gap between hope and knowing isn’t so big. If we can move our recovery to a place of hope, we’re so close to believing in our bulimia recovery, to knowing our recovery is certain. The short distance between doubt and neutral is a step in the right direction.
Wherever you are at in your process to overcome bulimia is where you are. It’s what I call “what’s so”. It’s what’s so about your life. And then I ask, “so what?” So what are you going to do with where you are? That’s your choice in any moment.
If you’re living in a state of hope, you will choose to look for ways to help yourself and take action in that direction. If you’re stuck in doubt that you’ll keep binging and purging forever that’s just where you are. The work you’re up to is to move your mindset and your vibration or attitude or belief to one up the scale towards hopeful and then to believing and knowing you can beat bulimia.
It’s not important to make a big jump from doubt or fear that you’ll have bulimia for the rest of your life to a place of instantly overcoming your binge eating disorder. That’s NOT what you want to reach for. What you want to reach for is the relief of feeling a little better. Think a thought and envision a life that’s going from binging five times a day to just twice a day. The progress you may want to make is HUGE, but believe me going for purging five times a day to twice is a big jump. The progress you then want to reach for when you’re in a place of binging twice a day is to one where you’re maybe binging twice a day, but you’re facing your feelings and are more present with what’s going on in your life and instead of using food as a crutch to feel better when something happens, it’s more like a stupid habit more than anything. Then it starts to get annoying this habit because it takes you out of your life. Then, you start to move up the ladder to a place where your eating disorder is getting in the way of you having meaningful relationships so you start to want to eat normally because you want to be in your life.
You want a loving relationship with a man. You want connection with people. You want to feel loved. You want to love yourself.
Reach for those feelings when you’re ready. Your movement up the ladder will be gradual, but it will be your process.
If you slip up, that’s just “what’s so”. So what…are you going to do next? Don’t beat yourself up and ignore the negative self talk that tells you you’re a loser or weak. Get back in the saddle and ride that darn bulimia recovery horse on to the next stop along your journey.
Be kind to yourself. Be open about the process. Take it easy. You don’t have to get recovery overnight. If you expect it to be a process and allow it to unfold at a gradual pace and learn about yourself along the way, you will naturally move up the ladder because I believe your normal state of being is one of wellness and joy. Your cork will automatically float to the top which is wellness. That’s why it feels so awful when you binge and purge and feel guilty. You want to be well.
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