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Speak Only About What You Want – Lesson 3 of 7 from Abraham-Hicks Workshop

This is Lesson 3 in my series that explores the insights I took back to my life after attending my first Abraham-Hicks workshop last weekend.  As a long-time fan and student of the teachings of Abraham it was a real high to actually be at one of their workshops and to experience the presence of Abraham first-hand.  It’s something I know I will enjoy again in this lifetime…perhaps many times.  Here is a summary of the series I’m writing about in case you want to read other topics.

Lesson 1: You have to care about how you feel.

Lesson 2: There are no setbacks in life.

Lesson 3: Speak only about what you want.

Lesson 4: We create reality from our vibrational atmosphere.

Lesson 5: The path is being laid out for you.

Lesson 6: Stop beating yourself up for where you are.

Lesson 7: You get rid of doubt by not having it.

Lesson 3: Speak Only About What You Want

I’ve understood for several years now the idea that what we talk about, focus upon and think about we get more of.  We are vibrational beings (energy in motion) and with the physical laws of the universe if we focus our energy on something we’ll make it bigger.

A few ways of re-stating that is “you get what you focus on”, “like attracts like”, “the Universe is responding to your vibration”, “what you focus on expands”, and “the better it gets the better it gets”.

What was a shift for me in the workshop was the story and context that came up when Abraham brought up this concept.  There was a woman who went into the hot seat and started to tell the story that she was writing a memoir about her “crazy” family and its history.  She told Abraham that she was a little concerned about her feelings/her state/vibration as she was writing the book because of all of the negative energy and experiences she was re-visiting from her past.  The first thing Abraham asked was “why are you writing this book?”  Seemed like a great question to me because you could tell the woman was obviously afraid of losing herself in the negative details of her memoir.

The woman explained that she wanted to bring light to what happened and to help other people by telling it in a humorous way.  You could tell there was a split in her energy.  She clearly wanted things to be light and uplifting, but the material was yucky and sucking out the life/joy from her.

As the woman and Abraham went back and forth what came about was that Abraham said something along the lines of if you want to write a book from a perspective of “If I knew then what I know now” it would allow her to stay far enough in her present experience and away from the turmoils of her past that it may be possible.  Yet, it was clear that focusing on, reliving, talking about and dredging up the past was just not serving this woman and probably wouldn’t serve the readers of her memoir.

How to Stop a Binge BookHow to Stop a Binge Book
Some of the comments and questions from Abraham were quite poignant:

Why write about things you don’t want to maintain in your life?

Because of the law of attraction, what you’re writing about and remembering is being relived and will attract more of it into your life.

Don’t write about things you don’t want to get sucked into.

The Universe responds to the way you feel, not what you say.

How you want to feel…just go there.  [don’t dwell in how you don’t want to feel]

Don’t talk about where you’ve been, how you got there.  Only speak of where you’re going.

As a bulimia recovery/eating disorder writer, blogger, coach it’s a fine line for me to dip into the world where my clients are living and yet to stay in the light. I get where the woman on the stage was coming from.  Yet, I realized early on in my writing that I never enjoyed digging up my old stories and memories of what I did to confound my addiction for 20 years.  Talking all the time about my roller coaster ride to recovery didn’t serve me and wasn’t that helpful to people beyond helping them realize they were normal and that I “got it”.

Trust me…because I was bulimic I get it when my coaching clients say things like:

I feel fat.

I can’t stop thinking about food when I’m (fill in the blank).

I want to give up.  I’ve done this for so long it feels like it’s going to be here forever.

Do you really think I can recover after 15, 20, 30, 40 years?

No one but my (fill in the blank) knows I do this.  I would be horrified if anyone found out.

My life is so great in so many ways, it’s just this damn binging/purging thing I can’t kick.

I’ve tried and tried and should know better how to stop doing this.

I feel like giving up because I see no way out. I’ve tried it all and nothing’s worked.

My therapist says I’m not curable. She think I don’t really want to recover.

Yeah, I’ve dealt with all of this chatter before.  I realize now with the work I’ve done on myself (to stop negative thoughts like these) and along side my clients that you must ONLY tell the story of what you want to come about.  If we keep reliving our old stories, our history, our past, we’re just doomed to live there and repeat it.

We don’t learn from re-visiting our history – we just re-activate it in our present.

As a life/recovery coach I tell my clients that therapy can probably help you heal your past – if that’s what you want. I’m not that interested in your past. I’m interested in stopping the out of control addiction to binging/purging.  I’m interested in where you’re going.  Tell me that story!

Talking about your past addictive behaviors is like telling a personal trainer how much you’ve overeaten and not exercised for the past decade that has caused you to be 40 lbs over weight.  The trainer doesn’t give a shit because that won’t have any impact on the results they can help you achieve in the future.  Seriously.  It’s like giving your GPS the addresses you’ve come from for the past week – the GPS doesn’t care where you were.  It can only help you go where you want to go.

The insight I want to drive home today is to ONLY and ALWAYS talk about where you’re going.  Even better, talk about it with enthusiasm and excitement.  Activating your energy inside will help activate the cells of your body to engage with your new story. It takes it to a deeper level.

As soon as you catch yourself saying phrases like those below….stop – like in your tracks.  Be sure what comes next is empowering and taking you where you want or stop talking and pay attention to what you’re saying:

I’ve always been/done…

I’m such a…

My family does this…

My life is…

You see, we can’t talk about the past without reactivating it and attracting more of it in our future.  When I’m coaching clients I actually teach them a unique was of talking to me about their past, present and future.  It’s a little hard to explain here, but know that the basics of it is that you want to watch your thoughts and words for any instance of what you don’t want to keep having come about in your life.

When we focus on what we want, what lights us up, what we want more of in our lives we give that energy and therefore we attract it into our lives.  We literally turn our thoughts into things by our focus.

Here’s a post I did a while back that talks about how you can proactively create a new story and create the life you want.

Please be sure to share your comments below and stay tuned for the entire series.

Lesson 1: You have to care about how you feel.

Lesson 2: There are no setbacks in life.

Lesson 3: Speak only about what you want.

Lesson 4: We create reality from our vibrational atmosphere.

Lesson 5: The path is being laid out for you.

Lesson 6: Stop beating yourself up for where you are.

Lesson 7: You get rid of doubt by not having it.

 

With love and light,

Polly

This Post Has 2 Comments
  1. I am loving these! Thank you so much for posting them! I just wondered: most 12 step programs or even recovery resources I’ve seen tell you to basically figure out why you have this problem- what weaknesses or experiences in you keep it alive. How do you address those while focusing only on where you want to go? Thanks for your thoughts!

    1. Hi Cordelia,

      Great question!

      In my experience you can only focus on one thing at a time. I’d say, if you want recovery and a new future that doesn’t include an ED, then focus on having that first. Then, once you have a healthy relationship with food (i.e. no binge/purge habits), then you can work to clean up other areas of your life that you want to. It’s so much easier to have connection with people, with yourself, with the hopes and dreams you want for yourself when you’re not letting the ED monster run the show. Get past that, then you can begin to heal other areas of your life readily because the b/p habit isn’t taking you out all the time.

      That’s how I’d look at it. What do you think?

      Thanks for your comment and I welcome your feedback or questions in the future.

      In joy,

      Polly

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