As part of my continued Ode to the 12 Days of Christmas for Bulimics and Anorexics this post is about Step 10 of Overeaters Anonymous, which reads:
Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
First, if you’re reading this step I want to commend you because you’ve come a long way baby. The first 9 steps are behind you and you’re on to really in recovery maintenance mode or, better yet, starting to thrive in your life.
What Step 10 of OA means to me is a reminder that we’re imperfect and still make mistakes at times. Even if you have a clean bulimia recovery without relapse, there is always room or growth and expansion of our being.
I’m calling step 10 of Overeaters Anonymous the “get off it” step. This in honor of the work I’ve done as part of The Landmark Forum. I continue to work with a small group of 3 ladies (my Maoi sisters) and we call each other on our crap all the time. We come together every week and share what’s going on in our lives as a means of community, personal growth and our continued expansion into greater and greater extensions of our self.
So what is “get off it”? Being “on it” means that you’re holding on to being right or you’re afraid to admit you’re sorry to someone you’ve hurt. When you’re on it it’s sort of like you’re in your corner of the boxing ring and you’re not coming out without a fight. The problem with being on it is you’re either looking for a fight or you’re keeping yourself out of the game of life and it’s costing you big time. Being on it costs you love. You withhold love and are kept from love when you’re on it.
What I like about OA’s step here is that they say “promptly admitted it”. You see, we all stay on it for….awhile. It’s sort of our defensive mechanism. That’s ok if you don’t want to give or receive love, but I know you do so the sooner you get off it, the sooner the love will be flowing in your life with that person again.
One of my Maoi sisters is really, really good at getting off it. She told us one time that she had a relationship with a guy she lived with where they’d play a game that they would have to both get off it no matter what before they went to bed or they couldn’t go to sleep. She said they did that for awhile and then eventually moved the game to whoever could get off it fastest/first. The first one to get off it won. Ingenious! Whoever was willing to get off it got the love flowing again. I love that game.
If you read any bulimia recovery stories you’ll find that recovery doesn’t mean you stop growing and learning. As you play in this realm of continuing to recognize when you’re on it – you’ve wronged someone – and you’re willing to admit it and start the love flowing, you have come so far. The work from this point is to continue your ever expansion of self.
I believe we are endless beings here to create our lives. It is the contrast of life – relationships, events and even breakdowns – that allows to continue to create who we want to be. Don’t get yourself down if you keep finding more stuff about yourself that you want to change. As long as you look at yourself with the loving eye of Source and not through the critical eye of “I’m not good enough”, then you’ll continue to see the healthy, loving, wonderful person you truly are.
If you’d like to share your comments or feedback on my interpretation of this (step 10 of overeaters anonymous), please feel free to leave a message below.
Get ready for my next post – Step 11 of Overeaters Anonymous (OA). Here’s a preview:
Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.